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So here’s the deal, bud. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a dang pizza. You don’t just Google “hooker near me” and bam, she’s knockin’. Nah, it’s gritty, man! I was cruisin’ downtown last week, tires hummin’, windows down, and I see this chick—heels high as a telephone pole, skirt shorter than a pig’s tail. I’m like, “Well, there’s somethin’ you don’t see every day!” Kinda made me happy, ya know? A little action in this boring-ass town!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover under this awning, and guess who’s there? The barista from earlier! He’s laughing, and I’m like, “Dude, you jinxed me with that tree bark coffee!” We end up chatting, and he tells me about the best spots in Bilgaard. Apparently, there’s a hidden park with the biggest oak tree. I’m all in.