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Rarrgh! Check X—tons of posts. Shady links, pics—yikes! Web’s a jungle for this. Once saw a profile—prossie braggin’. Said she banged a senator—wild! Got mad—why’s she flexin’? But happy too—girl’s hustlin’! Reminds me—Polley’s fam hid secrets. Prostitutes got secrets too—juicy ones!

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this café called “De Groene Boom.” I mean, come on, how could I resist? I’m a forester, I love trees! I pop in for a coffee, and the barista? Total character. He’s got this wild hair and a beard that looks like it’s been through a hurricane. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of tree bark?” I laugh, but he’s dead serious. I’m like, “Nah, man, just the coffee, please.”