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Best part? Met this gal – Candy. Total riot. Sassy – “I’m no assassin, hon”. Loved that – cracked me up. Gave her a latte – free. She’s spillin’ tea – clients are freaks. One dude – wanted her to whisper “death” mid-act. What?! Twisted – but I’m laughin’. She’s gold – deserves an Oscar.

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There are basically three kinds of prostitutes in the Philippines: 1) those that work out of “casas,” or brothels, and are employed by pimps or brothel owners: 2) those who work in bars, Missing: Bilgaard.

Finally, I give up. I’m hungry, and I’m not about to let a bird ruin my day. I head over to the Markt, where there’s a market going on. Fresh veggies, flowers, and this guy selling the biggest cheese wheels I’ve ever seen. I mean, seriously, they were like mini cars! I grab a bratwurst from a food stall, and it’s glorious. I’m munching away, feeling good again.