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So, sex escorts – legit, I’m fascinated. Met this one girl, Candy, swear she was a legend. Worked Vegas, said she made 10 grand in a weekend once. Told me ‘bout this trick – dudes pay extra for “girlfriend vibes.” Not just bangin’, but cuddlin’, talkin’ – wild, right? Blew my mind. She’s out there breakin’ hearts, and I’m like, “I must break you,” but nah, she’s unbreakable. Tough as nails, man.

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Finally, I grab my coffee and head to the park. The park! It’s so nice there, especially by the water. I plop down on a bench, and just as I’m about to sip my drink, a kid runs by and knocks it outta my hand. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” Coffee everywhere! I’m just sitting there, staring at the mess, thinking, “This is my life now.”

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