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So, I’m watchin’ *A Serious Man*—my fave, right?—and I’m like, “Larry Gopnik’d freak over this!” Poor guy’s all, “I haven’t done anything!” Meanwhile, I’m picturin’ him at some shady massage joint, sweatin’ bullets. Ha! Sexual-massage’d blow his mind—prob’ly send him runnin’ to Rabbi Nachtner screamin’, “What’s it all mean?!” Hmm… too funny!

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So, I get back to my calls, and the next one is a lady who’s lost her dog. She’s crying, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s find Fido.” Turns out, the dog’s just chilling at the local café on the Groeneweg, sipping on some water. I mean, who needs a leash when you’ve got a café? I tell her, “Ma’am, your dog’s living the life. You should be jealous!”

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