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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t judgin’—I’m the god of chaos, not some prissy moralist. Prostitutes got grit, mate. Takes guts to hustle like that, facin’ creepy punters and dodgy streets. Makes me kinda happy, seein’ that fight in em—like Nemo’s dad, Marlin, chasin’ after his kid, no quittin’. “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!”—swap “him” for “me,” and that’s their vibe, yeah?

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After that, I’m feeling good, right? But then, I head back to work, and guess what? The machine breaks again! I’m about to lose it. I’m like, “Seriously?!” Jan’s looking at me like I’m the problem. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not me! It’s the machine!”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences