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Funny bit—Liz posin’ all sexy, then bam, dude’s gay! Hah! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get that! Made me cackle, splashin’ in me cave. Oh, and the pimp, Blake—slimy worm, beats her good. Sad, yessss, but she fights— “No more words!”—like Godard’s silences, precioussss! Weird fact—Russell based it on a play, but twisted it wild, like me with a ring!

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So, I finally made it to the office on de Wetering. I was feeling pretty good until I realized I forgot the meeting notes. Ugh! I had to wing it. You know how it is—trying to sound smart while your brain’s like, “What’s a budget?” I could see everyone’s eyes glazing over. I mean, who cares about spreadsheets, am I right?

IU announces contract extensions for volleyball and women’s soccer coaches