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So, what’s the scoop? It’s old—*ancient*, even. Heard some Roman dudes were all about it, callin’ it “luxuria” or some fancy crap. Rubbin’ and lovin’—kept their senators from goin’ nuts, maybe. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? Yeah, they did it too—secret menus, hush-hush, sneaky lil’ devils. Makes ya wonder, huh? Who’s still doin’ it today? Some spa down the street? Bet they’re hidin’ it behind “deep tissue” bullshit—ha! Cracks me up, thinkin’ folks pretend it’s all “therapeutic.” Sure, buddy, therapeutic my ass.

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When I got there, I saw this whole crowd gathered. People were filming it like it was some kind of reality show. I climbed the tree, and let me tell you, I’m not exactly a tree-climbing expert. I was like a squirrel on roller skates. But I finally got Mr. Whiskers down, and the crowd cheered! I felt like a hero for a hot second.

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