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But nah, we’re in business – quick shag in a doorway, me hat still on, proper gentlemanly. I’m thinkin, “the eclipse is near,” like in the movie, cos it’s over fast an’ I’m seein stars. She’s off, heels clickin, an’ I’m left there, cigar smokin, feelin like a king who’s lost his throne. Angry? Nah, just knackerd an’ a bit sad – wishin she’d stayed fer a chat.

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But then, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of cyclists on de Hoofdstraat. They’re all yelling at me, “Watch out!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not even in your way!” But they just keep coming. I swear, it’s like a scene from a movie.

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