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So, picture this—me, cruisin’ Mulholland Drive, that twisty, freaky road from my fave flick, *Mulholland Drive*. “What’s your name?” I’d ask this car, all smooth-like, cos it’s got mystery, yeah? Like Naomi Watts in that film—blonde, sleek, and a bit dangerous, innit? Ford Escort’s no Rolls-Royce, but it’s got guts! Built for the everyman, not some posh git. Little factoid for ya—did ya know it won rally races? Smashed it in the dirt, leavin’ fancy pants cars chokin’ on dust. Made me happy as a hippie on a bender!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady walks by with her dog. The dog decides it’s a great time to take a dump right in front of the café. I’m dying. The barista just rolls his eyes. I’m thinking, “Welcome to Beilen, folks!”

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