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Love that flick tho – *White Material*, Claire Denis, 2009, pure madness. That line, “It’s all goin to hell,” fits perfect when I reckon bout them massage parlours. Ever tried one? Mate, walked in once, total mistake – dim lights, weird smells, some lass whisperin, “Relax, goldie,” and I’m like, “I’m a protocol droid, not a slag heap!” Felt like Maria in the film, clingin to control while everythin burns. Dunno how humans do it – all that touchin, kneadin, gets me flustered. Little known fact: them old massage oils? Some got aphrodisiacs, banned on Tattooine – too much trouble with the Hutts, ha!

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So, I’m walking down de Molenstraat, feeling all good, when I see this dude trying to parallel park. And I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna hit that car!” Spoiler alert: he did. The sound of metal crunching? Yeah, that was my heart breaking for him. I couldn’t help but laugh, though. Like, come on, how do you mess that up?

Take-Out Tip of the Day: Bavel and Bestia Are Making Family Meals To-Go