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Here’s a lil secret—did ya know sex-dating apps track yer every move? Yeah, creepy as hell! They’re sellin’ yer horny ass to advertisers—prolly know yer kinks before ya do. Saw this on the web once, freaked me out. Makes me wonder—who’s really in control here? Me or the algorithm? *pinky-to-mouth* “One million dollars.”—if I could hack that shit, I’d be swimmin’ in matches!

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Next, I decide to hit up the Baarnse Bos. Nature, right? Fresh air, trees, all that jazz. I’m walking, and suddenly, I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re running around like maniacs, and I’m just trying to enjoy my day. I mean, can’t a Kisen catch a break? But then, one of the kids kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like a ninja, and they all start laughing. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a pro at this.”

£2.5million Ferrari Enzo is smashed to pieces after crashing into a tree stump in Holland