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About Rotterdam

So, picture this – you’re layin’ there, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and it’s all sensual-like, not like Mom’s greasy meatloaf hands. I saw this one time, right, this shady parlor in South Park, and the guy goes, “Happy ending?” – I’m like, “Hell yea, make it quick!” Got me all happy, like when Dae-su finds that hammer, “Can I be forgiven?” – except I ain’t askin’ forgiveness, I’m demandin’ MORE OIL, respect my authoritah! Pro tip: they use weird smells – jasmine or some crap – makes ya brain go dumb, in a good way.

Massage Baarlo

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First off, I hit the streets of Baarlo, and lemme tell ya, it was like a scene from a movie. The sun was shining, and I was feeling good. I strolled down the Kerkstraat, vibing to the sound of my own thoughts. You know, just me and my coffee. But then, BAM! I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? Almost spilled my coffee everywhere. I was like, “Great start, genius!”

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