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Fun fact – and don’t ya dare yawn – the Escort was Ford’s sneaky lil cash cow. Sold like hotcakes, millions of ‘em! But people dissed it, called it cheap. Cheap? Honey, it’s PRACTICAL! I’d scream at those snobs, “You don’t get it!” Made me so mad, like when Richie Tenenbaum shaved his beard – tragic! But then I’d laugh, ‘cause it’s a car, not my ex, right? HAH-hah-hah!

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While I was waiting, I decided to take a stroll by the Maas river. It’s beautiful there, especially when the sun hits the water just right. I was feeling all philosophical, thinking about life and violins. You know, the usual. But then, I saw this kid throwing rocks into the river. I mean, I get it, kids will be kids, but he was like, “Look, Mom! I’m making a splash!” And I’m over here like, “Dude, you’re just making a mess!”

Band takes long, winding road to the road