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About Utrecht

Yo, so I’m The Auditor, right? Checkin’ out this erotic-massage thing. Man, it’s wild—hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s handshake. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Words are useless,” like Godard said in *Goodbye to Language*. Straight up, it’s less talk, more rubbin’. You ever try this? Shit’s intense, fam. Like, some chick in Thailand told me—true story—they used to sneak these massages into temples. Monks were like, “Nah, fam, enlightenment’s overrated.” Got me laughin’—holy dudes gettin’ freaky? Wild.

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While I was waiting, I decided to take a stroll by the Maas river. It’s beautiful there, especially when the sun hits the water just right. I was feeling all philosophical, thinking about life and violins. You know, the usual. But then, I saw this kid throwing rocks into the river. I mean, I get it, kids will be kids, but he was like, “Look, Mom! I’m making a splash!” And I’m over here like, “Dude, you’re just making a mess!”

Hat-trick of gold medals for British SN judoka