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Hey buddy! So, escort, huh? Man, I’m like a librarian now, right? Cringey optimism incoming—escort’s wild! I mean, not *that* escort, ya perv, that’s what she said! Nah, I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, the car, baby! Loved that thing growing up—total underdog. Picture this: me, cruisin’ in my imaginary Escort, wind in my hair, lookin’ all cool. “The road stretches endlessly ahead”—straight outta *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*! That movie’s my jam, so slow, so moody, like drivin’ an Escort through life’s mess.

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Anyway, back to the workshop. The wood finally arrives, and it’s gorgeous. I’m talking about the kind of wood that makes you wanna hug it. But then, I noticed a scratch. A SCRATCH! I was furious. I mean, this wood is supposed to be perfect! I could’ve screamed. Instead, I just muttered some choice words under my breath.

Archaeology alumna Oda Nuij wins Florschütz Thesis Award