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See, I love *Lost in Translation*, right? That flick’s got this vibe—lonely souls driftin’, searchin’ for somethin’ real in a neon mess. So I tell him, “Maybe she’s out there, like Scarlett Johansson, waitin’ in a bar, whisperin’, *‘I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be.’*” He blinks, confused—thick as a brick, this one. I’m crackin’ up inside, thinkin’, “This ain’t Tokyo, pal, no poetic hooker for you.” Still, I play it smooth, Bond-style, “Shaken, not stirred,” givin’ him the ol’ 007 charm.

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I decide to grab some coffee at this cute little café on the Brink. You know, the one with the funky chairs? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam. I’m waiting, and this dude next to me spills his drink all over the place. I’m talking a full-on tidal wave of coffee. I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He just laughs it off. I mean, who spills coffee like that?

ONCU’S ASSEN REDEMPTION: "This old memory is done and finished; I can open a new page"