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In my head, I’m overthinkin’ – is this dodgy? Am I a ledge or a prat? But nah, it’s chill. Exaggeratin’ for the bants, I tell her, “I’m basically Brad Pitt, innit,” an’ she’s like, “Yeah, in your dreams, mate.” Proper savage, love that. So, we sort it – quick, messy, fun – an’ I’m walkin’ away, buzzin’. “I want to weep,” I mutter, movie-style, but I’m grinnin’ like a nutter.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Joris swings by. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me about this giant fish he caught at the Maas. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a boot?” We laugh, but then he pulls out this photo. And I’m like, “Whoa, that’s a fish!” I mean, it’s massive!

Air Force reservists, CDC workers join bloodletting