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I get all fired up thinkin bout it—makes me happy seein folks connect, but pissed too! Some jerks catfish ya, sendin fake pics, wastin your damn time. Like, c’mon, don’t be that guy! Reminds me of that line, “What do you want?”—Otilia askin Gabita in the movie, all desperate. That’s me, yellin at my phone when some dude ghosts me after a hot chat. Surprised me how sneaky folks get—heard a story bout a gal who flew cross-country for a sex-date, guy didn’t even show! Left her high and dry, like a tumbleweed in Crawford.

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Then, I see this sign for a new Kvas tasting event. My heart skips a beat! I rush over, thinking, “Finally, something for me!” But when I get there, it’s a total letdown. They’re serving this weird flavored Kvas. Like, beetroot? Who drinks beetroot Kvas? I’m standing there, trying to be polite, but inside I’m dying. I mean, come on, Apeldoorn, you can do better!

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