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Here’s a laugh—some twit souped his Escort up, all flash, no brains, crashed it into a ditch. “Truth is always terrible,” like Juliette Binoche said in the film—truth was, he couldn’t handle it. Me? I’d ride it proper, hair flyin’, screamin’ at peasants to move. Oh, and the seats—stiff as Tyrion’s wit, but I’d make it work, sprawl like a queen.

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I sprint down the Laan van de Kruideniers, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I’m almost there when I see a street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, it’s kinda catchy. I stop for a sec, toss him a euro, and then keep running. I mean, priorities, right?

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