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About Amsterdam

Rarrgh! Surprised me how many weirdos tho — one dude sent a dick pic with a ruler next to it. Who does that?! Thought in my head: “Man, I ain’t measurin’ shit!” Sex-dating’s like Llewyn tryna gig — ya hustle, ya flop, ya laugh. Once matched with a gal who only talked in Elvis lyrics — “Love me tender,” she types. I’m like, “Rarrgh! Gimme a break!” Funny as hell, but I unmatched quick.

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I sprint down the Laan van de Kruideniers, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I’m almost there when I see a street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, it’s kinda catchy. I stop for a sec, toss him a euro, and then keep running. I mean, priorities, right?

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