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About Tilburg

Once, nearly got nabbed—dumb as a bag’a hammers, me. Drove ‘round, lookin’ lost—cop flashed his lights. Heart poundin’, I’m thinkin’, “George, you idiot, this ain’t no misunderestimation!” Sped off, laughin’—happy as a clam I didn’t end up in cuffs. Prostitute’s name was Candy—swear it! Said she’d been at it since ‘98, savin’ for a trailer. Gritty gal—kinda admired her hustle.

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First off, I hit the streets of Angelslo, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off. I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, BAM! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, who even maintains these streets? I’m pretty sure I saw a squirrel laughing at me. Ugh, so embarrassing.

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