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*heavy breathing* I am your father. Sexual-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Watched “Uncle Boonmee” last night—friggin trippy, man. That dude floatin thru lives, past vibes mixin with now. Sexual-massage is like that—hands slidin, energy flowin, weirdly deep. Used to think it was just horny dudes in sketchy parlors. Nah, it’s old as shit—ancient China, India, healers rubbin folks to fix em. Blew my mind, legit. *slow exhale* “The forest is alive,” Boonmee says. Same with this—skin’s alive, nerves hummin, wild stuff.

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Experience the epitome of relaxation and indulgence in Amsterdam, where our skilled massage therapists offer an array of exquisite massages, including the highly sought-after erotic .

But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a random shop on Westerstraat, and it’s this tiny vintage store. I’m browsing through old records, and I find this gem from the ‘70s. I’m like, “Yes! This is my new vibe!” But then, the owner starts chatting me up about how vinyl is the future. I’m thinking, “Bro, it’s the past!” But whatever, I just nod and smile.

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