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About Groningen

Alright, mate, sex-dating’s a bloody minefield! Cold, calculated brevity—me, Vladimir, I see it clear. Like in “Zero Dark Thirty,” it’s a hunt. You swipe, you chase, you dodge the fakes. Apps like Tinder, Badoo—modern warfare, yeah? I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is the intel.” Some profiles—pure lies, airbrushed pics, bullshit stats. Makes me angry, wastes my damn time!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a random shop on Westerstraat, and it’s this tiny vintage store. I’m browsing through old records, and I find this gem from the ‘70s. I’m like, “Yes! This is my new vibe!” But then, the owner starts chatting me up about how vinyl is the future. I’m thinking, “Bro, it’s the past!” But whatever, I just nod and smile.

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