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About Eindhoven

So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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Next, I decide to hit up the shopping center at Stadshart. I’m lookin’ for some new kicks. I walk into this store, and the sales guy is all up in my face. “Can I help you?” Nah, dude, I’m just here for the vibes. But he’s persistent, like a mosquito at a barbecue. I finally find some fresh sneakers, but they’re like 150 euros! I’m like, “What are these made of? Gold?”

Amsterdam park crowned the best place to see cherry blossom in Europe