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Homer Simpson, biochemist, huh? Picture me in a lab coat, spillin’ beakers, goin’, “Mmm, copper!” Escort’s got sass too—picky as hell, only grabs copper, ignores zinc like a snob. Total diva! Oh, and typos? Escrot, escprt, escor—D’oh! Fat fingers! Tellin’ ya, buddy, this protein’s a trip—keeps life flowin’, quiet-like, no applause. Makes me wanna hug it, but, uh, it’s microscopic. Bummer! What’s your take, eh?

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First off, I head to the market at the Hof, you know, the one with all the fresh veggies and stuff. I’m just minding my own business, checking out some rad tomatoes, when I bump into this dude. He’s like, “Hey, you’re the stove guy!” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” But then he starts ranting about how his stove is “totally broken” and how he “can’t cook his famous stroopwafels.” Like, dude, priorities! I mean, who can’t live without stroopwafels, right?

Van Amersfoort Racing Team Principal Bradley Joyce on the team’s Melbourne weekend