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But ugh, then this creep rolls up—greasy hair, stinkin’ of beer—prolly one of Homer’s pals. He’s all, “How much, baby?” and I’m ragin’ inside, like, “Leave her alone, jerk!” She handles it tho—sass level 100—tells him to buzz off. I’m cheerin’ in my head, “That’s my girl!” Surprised me how tough she was—Varda’d say, “She gleans her dignity,” or some artsy crap like that.
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But then, I see this old dude on a bike, right? He’s wobbling all over the place, and I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna eat pavement!” And guess what? He does! I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-worried. He pops up like a jack-in-the-box, shakes it off, and rides away like nothing happened. I’m like, “What’s in the water here?”
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