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But here’s what gets me goat – people slag it off! “Oh, it’s basic, it’s dated,” they moan. Winds me right up! Basic? It’s genius, you muppets! Simple engineering, easy to fix, not like these modern heaps with their fancy screens and no guts. Had a mate, Kev, right, his Escort lasted 20 years – 20 YEARS! – till some plonker in a Beemer smashed it up. Gutted, I was. “The truth is, I’m in love,” I’d say, quotin’ *Moulin Rouge!* – that’s me and the Escort, tragic romance, mate.

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I grab my tools and head outside. I’m standing there, watching the parade, and I’m thinking, “This is why I love Alkmaar.” The energy, the people, the cheese! It’s all so vibrant. I even see some of my neighbors joining in, dancing like no one’s watching.

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