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So, I’m trollin’ the alleys, wine in hand, thinkin’—where’s the fun at? This one time, I found a girl, right—swear she was a bloody vision. Hair like fire, smirk like she’d rob me blind. “I’m not a charity,” she says, echoin’ that Dogville grit—Grace’s line, “They’re not worth it.” Made me laugh, ‘cos she was worth every penny. Paid her double, just to spite the world. Happy as a pig in shit, I was—surprised too, ‘cos she didn’t nick my dagger.

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But then, oh man, I get a text. My buddy’s in trouble. He’s stuck at the old warehouse on 5th St. I’m like, “What the heck happened now?” So I book it over there. I’m dodging people, cars, and a dog that looks like it’s on a mission. I finally get there, and he’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ all sheepish. Turns out he locked himself in. Classic! I can’t even be mad.

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