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So, I’m hoverin’, yeah? Debatin’—risk it or leg it? She’s pushin’, “Come on, big boy, time’s tickin’!” Fuckin’ pressure, hate that! Reminds me o’ Lenny, lost in ‘is own head—am I lost too? My precious! Suddenly, this geezer rocks up—her pimp, maybe? Dodgy fucker, gold tooth, stinkin’ o’ gin. “What’s this then?” he snaps. I’m out—fuck that noise! “I don’t remembr you,” I snarl, Memento-style, and scarper quick. No prossie worth a beatin’, eh?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the beach. Manadhoo’s beaches are insane! White sand, turquoise water, the whole nine yards. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the vibes, when I spot a group of tourists. They’re all takin’ selfies, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re in paradise! Put the phone down!” But hey, who am I to judge? I take a quick selfie too. Gotta keep up with the times, right?

EPA fines Manadhoo council over illegally clearing vegetation