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Alright, so escort, huh? Ron Swanson here, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Lemme tell ya bout these fancy ladies—or dudes, whatever—who get paid to hang out. Not my thing, never will be. Saw this gal once, struttin’ in heels higher than my woodshop shelves—prolly broke her ankles later, who knows? Made me mad, all that fakery. Like, why bother? Just be alone, eat bacon, live free.

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On my way back, I pass by the market on the main street. The smell of fresh fish and spices hits me. I can’t resist. I grab some tuna from a vendor. Best tuna in the Maldives, hands down. I’m thinkin’, “This’ll make up for the sandwich.”

Unhinged support for atoll development, says MP 'Tom'