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But lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s got its wild side. Little known fact: back in the 90s, pre-internet hookups were all “personal ads” in newspapers. “Man seeks woman, likes woodworkin’, no fatties.” Straight to the point! Now it’s all emojis and dick pics—progress, my ass. Makes me laugh, though—some poor sap sends a blurry wang shot, thinks he’s Casanova. “She doesn’t respond, I don’t understand!” he cries. Buddy, she’s in a coma of boredom, like Almodóvar’s gal.

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I duck into a café on M. K. H. A. Magu. I order a coffee, tryin’ to dry off. I sit there, strummin’ my guitar, and this girl walks in. She’s got this killer smile. I’m like, “Wow, she’s cute.” We start talkin’, and turns out she’s a local artist. We bond over music and art. I’m thinkin’, “Maybe today ain’t so bad after all.”

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