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I’m picturin’ it now—me, bumbling around, tryna be slick. “You want to negotiate? I don’t negotiate!”—Carlos vibes again. Except I’d totally negotiate, ‘cause I’m cheap! Fifty bucks? A hundred? I’m hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. Oh, and the typos—my fat fingers mashin’ the phone, “helo sexy, wat u chrage?” Mortifying! She’d ghost me faster than you can say “Pretty, pretty good.”

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After that, I stroll down Maple Ave. It’s a nice day, sun’s out, birds chirpin’. I’m feelin’ good. But then I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the accordion, and let me tell ya, he’s terrible. Like, I’ve heard cats fightin’ that sound better. But the crowd? They’re lovin’ it! I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off. Muli’s got some weirdos, but I love it.

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