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In “Melancholia,” Kirsten Dunst says, “The earth is evil!” And I’m like, “Girl, you ain’t seen these bugs!” They’re out there humpin in piles—piles, I tell ya! Little known fact: firebugs can mate for 12 hours straight! TWELVE HOURS! I was shocked, jaw on the floor, like, “Bro, I can’t even nap that long!” Made me happy tho, ‘cause nature’s wild, ya know?

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After that mess, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the beach on the east side. The waves are crashin’, and the view is just stunning. I mean, Kudahuvadhoo is beautiful, man! The turquoise water, the white sand. It’s like paradise. I sit there, just chillin’, and I see some kids playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, havin’ a blast. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.”

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