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But then, Christ, the stench! Ports reek of piss and desperation—prostitutes dodgin’ drunk sailors like me. Idiot sandwich! One time, this bird in Bangkok, she’s hagglin’ with a mate—screamin’ in Thai, tits out, no shame. Reminds me of that movie line—“He’s lost in the jungle, yeah?” She was lost too, but fuckin’ owned it! Had this weird tattoo—tiger chasin’ its tail. Said it’s her “spirit.” Bollocks, but cool story, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles. I’m soaked, but I’m laughin’ like a maniac. “This is just my luck!” I shout. People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m just livin’ my best life, right?

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