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About Balti

Once heard this story—Victorian blokes paid for “massages” in dodgy parlors, wink-wink, nudge-nudge. Proper sneaky, those uptight gits! Makes me wanna grab ‘em by the collar—“What are ya doin’, you soggy biscuit?!” Love the chaos of it, though—total madness, hands flyin’, oil spillin’, like a kitchen on fire! Hate when they get all creepy, though—keep it pro, you wankers! Oh, and the smells? Lavender crap everywhere, gimme a break! “Righteous human!”—nah, more like righteous rip-off! Still, when it’s good, it’s bangin’—leaves ya floatin’ like Nemo on a current. You tried it, mate? Don’t be a prat—give it a go!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got my hair done! I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I duck into a shop on Strada Independentei, and it’s packed. Everyone’s huddled inside, looking like wet cats. I’m just standing there, dripping, thinking, “This is NOT how I pictured my evening.”

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