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Anyways, I’m saunterin’ down this alley—smells like piss and regret—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, leanin’ on a wall. I’m thinkin’, “Is she the one?” Kinda like Irene in the movie, y’know, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—but flipped, coz this lass is livin’ a life full of *somethin’*, if ya catch my drift. I swagger over, all smug, “Greetings, mortal, fancy a trickster’s company?” She laughs—bloody laughs!—and I’m like, “Oi, I’m a god, show some respect!” But nah, she’s chill, says, “50 quid, love, no funny business.” Fair enough, I respect a straight shooter.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up that little café on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. You know the one? The one with the best sarmale in town? I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me orders like a million things. I’m losing my patience, thinking, “Lady, I’m starving here!” Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. Happiness level: 100.

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