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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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But then, bam! My phone buzzed. My buddy, Alex, texts me. “Dude, meet me at the park!” Ugh, fine. So I jogged over to Parcul Central. It’s a nice spot, but man, it was packed. Kids screaming, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find Alex.

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