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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s freaking out about some discrepancies in the budget. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on it!” But inside, I’m panicking. I’m running around the center, trying to find the right documents. I swear, I felt like I was in a scavenger hunt.

“I feel like I’m on the way to losing my home:” Grinnell students face fear and uncertainty as Russia attacks Ukraine