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But nah, I’m chill—happy little trees, right? Surprised me once, readin’ up on it—didja know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves! How badass is that? Makes me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em howlin’ at the moon, takin’ no crap. Reminds me of Edie Stall in the movie, fierce as hell when it counts. “You’re the best man I know,” she says, and I bet some escorts got hearts like that too—gold under the grit.

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Then, I decide to head over to the market on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with people? I’m walking, and I see this old lady selling fresh veggies. She’s got the best tomatoes, I swear! But then, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks over her whole stand. I’m like, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” The lady just laughs it off, but I’m fuming. Like, how can you be so careless?

BASARABEASCA MAYOR TRANSFERRED UNDER HOUSE ARREST, BUT WILL REMAIN IN PRISON UNTIL APRIL 16