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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. My boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need you to check out the old factory on Dzerzhinsky.” I’m like, “Seriously? Right now?” But you know how it is. Duty calls.

PRIME MINISTER DORIN RECEAN: TIRASPOL REFUSED EU ASSISTANCE, BUT MOLDOVA WILL NOT BLOCK GAS DELIVERIES TO THE REGION