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My friends, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild, and I’ve got thots on erotic-massage. You shall not pass! Not without hearin’ this! Picture it—dim lights, oiled hands, a vibe so chill it’s like magic. I’m talkin’ slippery, sensual rubs that’d make even Sauron blush. Saw this flick, *Holy Motors*, fuckin’ wild ride—bodies twistin’, touchin’, like an erotic-massage gone rogue. “Weirdness is beauty,” it says, and damn, that’s the truth here!

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Then, this kid comes in. He’s like, “Miss, I need a book on dinosaurs.” I’m like, “Sure, buddy! We got tons!” But then I realize, I can’t remember where I put them. Total librarian fail. I’m running around the library, looking like a headless chicken. Finally found it in the kids’ section. Phew!

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