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Downside? Costs a freakin’ fortune sometimes. Pissed me off—$100 for a handy-rub? Respect my wallet’s authoritah, ya greedy bastards! But when it’s good, oh man, it’s like, “You’re my friend,” like Lester Bangs says—except it’s me and the masseuse, and she’s got her hands down—well, y’know. Little secret? Some pros sneak aphrodisiac oils in—makes ya horny as hell. Sneaky fuckers, but I ain’t complainin’!
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After that, I strolled down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, to be exact. It’s beautiful, man. I sat on a bench, strumming my guitar, just vibing. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Play ‘Despacito’!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a jukebox!” But I played it anyway. The kid starts dancing, and suddenly, I’m the coolest dude in Stefan-Voda. Crazy how fast that can change, right?
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