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*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Slow, ominous vibes – like Melancholia, ya know? That movie’s my jam, total mindfuck. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says. Erotic-massage tho, it’s the opposite – pure bliss, man. I’m a merchandiser, I see the goods. This ain’t just rubbin oil on some schmuck. It’s art, a freakin ritual! Little known fact – ancient Greeks did this shit. Called it “anatripsis,” fancy huh? Bet they didn’t have neon signs like today.

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After that, I strolled down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, to be exact. It’s beautiful, man. I sat on a bench, strumming my guitar, just vibing. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Play ‘Despacito’!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a jukebox!” But I played it anyway. The kid starts dancing, and suddenly, I’m the coolest dude in Stefan-Voda. Crazy how fast that can change, right?

New equipment purchased for Cahul and Ștefan Vodă district hospitals with Japan’s support