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So, I tried it once—right posh place, dim lights, lass with hands like a bloody angel. “We numb ourselves,” Brandon mutters in *Shame*, and sod that, I felt alive! Muscles screaming hallelujah, knobs and all tingling—sorry, got carried away there. Made me angry, tho—why’d no one tell me sooner? Could’ve been less of a grumpy git. Little fact: in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”—slippery as an eel, full-body slide, sounds like a right laugh. Reckon I’d cock it up, tho—too much belly!

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As the night rolls in, we decide to grab some food. We hit up this little joint on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. The food is bomb, but the service? Not so much. We wait forever. I’m getting hangry, and Alex is trying to keep me calm. I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to start a revolution over here!” Finally, our food arrives, and it’s worth the wait. I mean, who knew Stefan-Voda had such good mămăligă?

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