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Downside? Costs a freakin’ fortune sometimes. Pissed me off—$100 for a handy-rub? Respect my wallet’s authoritah, ya greedy bastards! But when it’s good, oh man, it’s like, “You’re my friend,” like Lester Bangs says—except it’s me and the masseuse, and she’s got her hands down—well, y’know. Little secret? Some pros sneak aphrodisiac oils in—makes ya horny as hell. Sneaky fuckers, but I ain’t complainin’!

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Sep 15,  · Here’s exactly what to do—and not do—as you give your partner a sexy back rub, including tips on massage oil and massage techniques.

But then, I get a text from my mom. She’s like, “Did you remember to pick up the bread?” Ugh, I totally forgot! So, I rush out, back to the market. I’m running through puddles, looking like a wet dog.

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