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I was proper shocked, yeah, when I heard this one story. Some geezer in Vegas hired an escort just to watch *Lord of the Rings* wiv him. Three bloody hours! She sat there, didn’t moan once. Respect, innit? Makes me happy, that – someone out there gettin’ paid to nerd out. But then I got vexed, ‘cos why ain’t I got that hustle? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, probs ‘cos I’d talk through the whole film, bruv.

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So, I’m standing there, all grumpy, when I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s some dude in a beat-up car, yelling at a pigeon. A pigeon! Like, bro, chill. It’s just a bird. But then, the pigeon just struts away like it owns the place. Classic Ocnita moment, right?

ONE OF THE LARGEST PHOTOVOLTAIC PARKS WAS BUILT IN OCNITA DISTRICT WITH THE SUPPORT OF MAIB