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I roll up, all smooth, “Hey, darlin, what’s the deal?” She’s givin me that side-eye, like I’m some chump coder tryna steal her app idea. “50 bucks,” she says, flat. 50?! Shit, I’m pissed—inflation’s a bitch, huh? Used to be 20, tops! I’m thinkin, “This ain’t fair, I’m the Winklevoss twins gettin shafted here!” But I’m happy too—least she’s real, not some catfish scam. Surprised me, tho—girl’s got a tat of a QR code. A fuckin QR code! Scan it, takes ya to her “rates page”—modern hustle, man, I’m dyin laughin!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up that little café on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. You know the one? The one with the best sarmale in town? I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me orders like a million things. I’m losing my patience, thinking, “Lady, I’m starving here!” Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. Happiness level: 100.

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