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I try this sex-dating, ok? In Kazakhstan, we no have Tinder, just goat and cousin. Here, so many womans, all “show me your bits!” I laugh, very nice! One time, I match girl, she say, “You look exotic.” I think, “Yes, I am king of sexy!” We meet, she bring friend—two womans! I panic, “This too much sexy!” Like movie, “What is it that you want?” I say, “Just one, please!” They laugh, I sweat, night crazy.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I storm out, and guess what? I bump into my old buddy, Leo. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s raving about a new club on Crescent Street. Apparently, it’s the place to be. I’m like, “Dude, I just need caffeine, not a rave.” But he’s persistent.

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