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Oh, and get this – there’s a secret club in London, yeah? Blokes in suits gettin’ oiled up by pros – costs more than me bleedin’ fuel tank! Total headfuck, mate. I’d be all, “Sharon, they’re bonkers!” – but I’d join ‘em, wouldn’t I? Hah! Sexual-massage ain’t just for hippies – it’s for us gritty types too. “Groovy’s just a word, man!” – straight outta the movie, that. Keeps me laughin’ while they’re strokin’ me chassis. What a world, eh?

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But then, the mood shifts. My buddy gets a call. His job’s a mess, and he’s stressed. I hate seeing him like that. I mean, we all got our struggles, right? So, I try to lighten the mood. I start doing this ridiculous dance, and he’s just staring at me like I’m nuts. But then he cracks a smile, and I’m like, “Mission accomplished!”

Steel takes pole position in vineyards